the most striking thing is how work issues affect me personally. my ability to be productive and useful is enormous to my self-image. my current job, as it’s (not) structured, does not help. at all.

whatever leadership i’ve been allocated is not reinforced or supported; it does not come with confidence or agency. i am someone to yell at when things go bad.

for someone in my situation this is possibly the worst case scenario; long experienced but not fully versed in latest tools/techniques/frameworks. where can i provide the most value?

i understand that being middle-aged and successful yet now needing to figure out how to stay relevant and provide value, is a preferable scenario. i do not expect sympathy.