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mike susz

@mikesusz

i had a good day today. today was completely free of anxiety and nausea and constant self doubt. i was able to be happy and productive.

and there is absolutely no correlation that i have found as to why today was fine, compared to months of continuous discomfort and unease.

Jan 10, 2020, 4:46 AM

mike susz

@mikesusz

and now i’m terrified to go to sleep having not discovered whatever magical departure from my routine that may be responsible for today’s not being terrible. for fear that tomorrow will be back to ‘normal’ again.

Jan 10, 2020, 4:48 AM

mike susz

@mikesusz

retracing my steps, the day before, the night before, how i slept, the morning routine. what was different? i would do it again. if i could figure it out, i would do the same thing every day and night.

this is the most faustian gift of a good day with depression.

Jan 10, 2020, 4:53 AM