@mikesusz social feed.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

🎶There’s a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza…🎶

Then fix the bucket already Henry, can’t you do anything for yourself? Seriously. Liza would have had water an hour ago.

Why did we even put you in charge of water?

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mike susz

@mikesusz

not to make light of dangerous weather, but remember as you buy emergency provisions, that you will need mixers and limes too.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

also time to start saying “first time doing _______ since last year!” or “ i haven’t done _______ since last year”

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mike susz

@mikesusz

watching some new year’s eve program and jenny mccarthy is on it. i feel sick.

i wish there was some immunization that would have prevented this.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

every time my kids get frustrated that they’re not good at something, i remind them that they’re able to pee on parts of the toilet i didn’t even think it was possible to pee on. keep trying!

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mike susz

@mikesusz

4 day trip to visit family contains two whole days of traveling. forgive me if i’m exhausted and we don’t visit too often.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

if ocean currents swirl around like a clothes dryer, we could probably gather up all the plastic bits by throwing a couple fitted sheets out there

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mike susz

@mikesusz

Remember, a journey of a thousand miles starts with waking up.

And When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you. When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you. If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be

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