this has been a great day of writing and subsequently deleting tweets. let’s just say that my reorganization experience has been sub-optimal so far. sub sub optimal. sub sub sub optimal.
today i realized i’m sneaking up on 3 years at my Big Blue job. also that i’ve been driving for 30 years. also also graduated high school in the same year as the SNES was released, and got my first job making websites (“webmaster”) the year the N64 was released.
there’s no Sunday Night quite like “two full weeks of not knowing who your boss is” Sunday Night. i get that businesses have to reorganize but every day full of uncertainty weighs on employees and violates your trust with them. looking forward to my paycheck clearing on the 31st.
i’m now a Front-End Developer and i’m glad my employer recognizes that this is a discipline, not part of something else. i also function as team leader & iteration manager & release manager, i don’t know how to quantify those things into a succinct title. https://twitter.com/ThePracticalDev/status/1219802541573144576
why am i disappointed with google street view? this is my town. where it says “Rindge” is the center of town - historic meetinghouse, nearby town hall, firehouse, museum. they skipped the whole town, but zig-zagged the parking lot at walmart.
retracing my steps, the day before, the night before, how i slept, the morning routine. what was different? i would do it again. if i could figure it out, i would do the same thing every day and night.
this is the most faustian gift of a good day with depression.
and now i’m terrified to go to sleep having not discovered whatever magical departure from my routine that may be responsible for today’s not being terrible. for fear that tomorrow will be back to ‘normal’ again.
sometimes i wonder if i just keep holding the ^ arrow on my sit/stand desk if it would just keep going up until it couldn't go up anymore and then the desktop would fall off and my computer would break and then i could go home
in 1995, i built a CD storage rack out of red oak end-cuts i got from a friend who worked at a cabinet maker shop. it held 280 CDs. it has spent some time since in basements and been moved cross-country. twice. today i gave it to my children.
2019 in summary: still struggling with depression, my kids are smarter than ever, at work i build stuff that helps people. goals for 2020: keep doing better, see 2021.
Another day of christmas shopping and I finally found it — a complete disdain of gift-giving and a feeling that everything I do is futile and I should give up
i'm watching the hourly forecast precipitation totals, i hope my school district doesn't delay start; the kids will get to school fine with an inch of snow, we can deal with the accumulation while they're there, and they'll get home safely afterwards.
today i moved 16 boxes of flooring up 2 flights, moved a commercial freezer out of my basement into the garage, then assembled a shelving unit and loaded it up. can i stop weekending now? oh wait — beer.
while this does sound like a funny tweet it is in fact very true and it applies to nearly every person i ever dated, lived with, worked with, or been friends with (and then suddenly ghosted).
i just had the realization that anyone who knew me in the past and hasn't heard from me, might be searching to figure out where i went/what happened to me, so i'll summarize:
yes, i eventually realized that terrible thing i did to you, and yes, i beat myself up for it every day.
since i upgraded from an iphone 7 to an 11 i can finally make an animoji this is the best i could do but it doesn’t quite capture my existential despair