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mike susz

@mikesusz

so many things in the gaming world (playing online multiplayer, watching twitch/mixer, etc.) assume you: a.) have your sound on, b.) are listening to it. i play most games, and watch streamers on mute.

Feb 13, 2019, 2:50 AM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

judging by how many life insurance offers i get in the mail, apparently mid-40s is when men discover their mortality or something

Feb 12, 2019, 7:11 PM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

if my airpods could just always default to connect to the device that is TURNED ON that would be cool.

Feb 11, 2019, 3:57 PM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

🎶There’s a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza…🎶

Then fix the bucket already Henry, can’t you do anything for yourself? Seriously. Liza would have had water an hour ago.

Why did we even put you in charge of water?

Jan 31, 2019, 11:53 PM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

Apple Watch question: does snow removal count as an “High-Intensity Interval Training” or “Cross Training”

Jan 20, 2019, 8:51 PM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

not to make light of dangerous weather, but remember as you buy emergency provisions, that you will need mixers and limes too.

Jan 19, 2019, 1:02 AM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

where does a Sith buy their robes?

at the Darth Mall

wait, where are you going — i have more jokes

Jan 2, 2019, 1:06 AM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

also time to start saying “first time doing _______ since last year!” or “ i haven’t done _______ since last year”

Jan 1, 2019, 1:56 PM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

watching some new year’s eve program and jenny mccarthy is on it. i feel sick.

i wish there was some immunization that would have prevented this.

Jan 1, 2019, 2:44 AM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

every time my kids get frustrated that they’re not good at something, i remind them that they’re able to pee on parts of the toilet i didn’t even think it was possible to pee on. keep trying!

Dec 28, 2018, 4:03 PM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

4 day trip to visit family contains two whole days of traveling. forgive me if i’m exhausted and we don’t visit too often.

Dec 27, 2018, 1:41 AM · view on Twitter

mike susz

@mikesusz

if ocean currents swirl around like a clothes dryer, we could probably gather up all the plastic bits by throwing a couple fitted sheets out there

Dec 19, 2018, 5:14 PM · view on Twitter