mike susz
@mikesusz
somebody didn’t program siri for this joke
@mikesusz social feed.
A searchable archive of 15,190 posts across 3 platforms.
14116 results
mike susz
@mikesusz
why don’t we just name all hurricanes “Karen”
mike susz
@mikesusz
learn how to wear a mask, Lonnie.
mike susz
@mikesusz
hi i’m mike i am 46 years old and my new favorite hobby is laying flat on the floor
GET AWAY
dad is fine, i just want to lie here
flat
go away
GET AWAY
dad is fine, i just want to lie here
flat
go away
mike susz
@mikesusz
search for your name in gifs
then search for more gifs
laugh at gifs, funny gifs
then forget why you were searching
then keep it all to yourself
then search for more gifs
laugh at gifs, funny gifs
then forget why you were searching
then keep it all to yourself
mike susz
@mikesusz
i guess this is how they ended up all over the place in @Fallout ? https://twitter.com/deapoirierbooks/status/1295083769947475968
mike susz
@mikesusz
three days, 2000 miles.
mike susz
@mikesusz
mike susz
@mikesusz
saw a nice family today having lunch in the gazebo on the square in town. looked like relatives showed up to join them. no masks. kisses and hugs.
doing it halfway right doesn’t count.
doing it halfway right doesn’t count.
mike susz
@mikesusz
oh no… i scrolled far enough on Facebook to see posts from my relatives…
mike susz
@mikesusz
remember when twitter was mad about people putting scented oils in their toilets?
mike susz
@mikesusz
1.9” of rain received in less than an hour in Rindge. past 24 hours we’ve gotten more rain (3.66”) than we did for the entire month of June (2.44”) #NHwx #KNHRINDG5
mike susz
@mikesusz
i've now been exclusively using a standing (only) desk at home for 4 months. one thing i really miss from my sit/stand setup in the office is: leaning back in my chair. for various reasons, leaning back in my chair was quite useful.
mike susz
@mikesusz
this is Blaze.
mike susz
@mikesusz
today i used my new battery powered lawn mower for the first time and it was a series of incredible epiphanies anyway i hope you are well and your weekend is peaceful and restorative
mike susz
@mikesusz
guilty. not sure exactly which one i am (though y'all probably know) i try to riff with people and keep the joke going but i often fail and started doing it way less and should stop replying completely. https://twitter.com/SoozUK/status/1283354337910165506
mike susz
@mikesusz
i hear The Clash every time.
mike susz
@mikesusz
rain is scared of the dot. :(
mike susz
@mikesusz
i’m exhausted and i just realized i have two more days of exhausting weekend yet to come
mike susz
@mikesusz
i wasn’t expecting it, but tonight: middle aged man, former AV crew chief/technical theater producer was completely enraptured by astounding writing, performance, and production.
i am nonsense, and nobody should care, but i am different now. amazing.
i am nonsense, and nobody should care, but i am different now. amazing.
mike susz
@mikesusz
mike susz
@mikesusz
phone wallet keys mask
mike susz
@mikesusz
foster kitten has had a tough day also.
mike susz
@mikesusz
you don’t realize until you go back through your #AnimalCrossing photos that your hands are just meaty spheres
mike susz
@mikesusz
how’s the week going so far? wow, today really made up for not working yesterday.
mike susz
@mikesusz
oh, it rained last night. i won't be able to brutalize myself with yardwork today. pity.
mike susz
@mikesusz
me shopping for a phone case
* nope, doesn’t need a hole to see the apple logo
* nope, doesn’t need your giant logo of random company
* nope, that one looks like it will actually harm my phone
* nope, that looks like a robot ate my phone
* nope, doesn’t need a hole to see the apple logo
* nope, doesn’t need your giant logo of random company
* nope, that one looks like it will actually harm my phone
* nope, that looks like a robot ate my phone
mike susz
@mikesusz
depression fam: does your brain ever conflate self-care with selfishness? like whatever time and attention you need to take in order to address (being basically a filth-producing animal) is indulgent?
mike susz
@mikesusz
3 years ago me: cords!
me now:
me now:
mike susz
@mikesusz
i have no idea how this is comfortable.
mike susz
@mikesusz
yet another holiday weekend i’ve chosen to ruin myself with work outside. i’d probably feel better if our house looked great. but this is all work to keep it from looking bad.
mike susz
@mikesusz
baller new wheel for my hooptie
mike susz
@mikesusz
remember when it snowed two weeks ago?
mike susz
@mikesusz
it’s been a long week.
mike susz
@mikesusz
yesterday i did too many of the things, which means today i was inclined to avoid any small number of the things. eventually i may learn to temper my weekend activities to average out and be less ruinous.
mike susz
@mikesusz
don’t be that guy:
* at Home Depot
* no mask
* talking loudly
* “the data is wrong”
* “the disease isn’t that bad”
* “this is all stupid”
* at Home Depot
* no mask
* talking loudly
* “the data is wrong”
* “the disease isn’t that bad”
* “this is all stupid”
mike susz
@mikesusz
okay not gonna complain about my breakthrough reward pokemon this week #PokemonGO
mike susz
@mikesusz
#SocialDistancing
mike susz
@mikesusz
sometimes i look at my followers list and i think “who unfollowed me?” then i remember i blocked that account whose profile photo was a picture of a butt
mike susz
@mikesusz
when the weather nerd opens up the curtains on their westward-facing windows, it’s time for a show.
mike susz
@mikesusz
anyone else realize they're part of like 7 or 8 discords but only have the time and attention span for like one channel on one discord?
mike susz
@mikesusz
my wife: “I tapped on an egg to hatch it, and the app crashed.”
me: “oh! you hatched a bug-type!”
her:
me: (laughing uncontrollably)
her: ಠ_ಠ
#PokemonGo
me: “oh! you hatched a bug-type!”
her:
me: (laughing uncontrollably)
her: ಠ_ಠ
#PokemonGo
mike susz
@mikesusz
website: “we use cookies, CONSENT TO COOKIES”
website also: “tell us your zip code every time you visit forever”
website also: “tell us your zip code every time you visit forever”
mike susz
@mikesusz
this day felt like the longest week ever
mike susz
@mikesusz
now that celebrities have taught us all how to wash our hands properly, can they start talking about the importance of wearing a mask in public?
mike susz
@mikesusz
in a way, my Animal Crossing house is the room i lived in when i was single if i had more money for computers https://twitter.com/mikesusz_switch/status/1259678405747806208
mike susz
@mikesusz
Hello, Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, CBS, AppleTV+, and HBO? yes i’d like to cancel my service. reason for cancellation? oh, i guess i just don’t use it much anymore.
by the way, have you played Animal Crossing?
by the way, have you played Animal Crossing?
mike susz
@mikesusz
this morning’s snow has melted but now we’re getting a graupel sun-shower!
mike susz
@mikesusz
i feel obligated.
mike susz
@mikesusz
this is Hopper. he is semi-feral and sometimes does not like us a lot. i appreciate these times.
