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mike susz

@mikesusz

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mike susz

@mikesusz

can we make an app that uses the phone camera, flash, accelerometer, and maybe NFC to determine if my
avocado is ripe?

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mike susz

@mikesusz

anytime I buy an avocado I should bring it home and throw it straight into the trash to save time

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mike susz

@mikesusz

at some point, shopping for toys for the kids turns into shopping for toys for me

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mike susz

@mikesusz

Kellogg's Crystal-Blasted Sugar Crack!

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mike susz

@mikesusz

I love watching Master Chef Junior even though it makes me feel like a complete failure in the kitchen. srsly these kids are amazing.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

awww yeah. for my most important 5-1/4"

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mike susz

@mikesusz

yay! now every time it’s cold, the news says ‘Polar Vortex!’

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mike susz

@mikesusz

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mike susz

@mikesusz

huh?

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mike susz

@mikesusz

today I saw Massachusetts license plates with “AK” vertically on the left side.

i wondered if Ice Cube ever had to use them.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

(of course i didn’t let them watch it) i had my 4 and 5 y.o. singing “too many cooks” over and over until they literally fell down laughing

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mike susz

@mikesusz

someone should make an online quiz where you identify cars by the shape of their back window

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mike susz

@mikesusz

happy o'clock

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mike susz

@mikesusz

I just love conference calls where there's a large loud group in a room and then there's everyone else getting zero value.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

i have meetings solid from 9-3 tomorrow so i guess i need to pee in a bottle under my desk or something

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mike susz

@mikesusz

Calendar Tetris™

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mike susz

@mikesusz

R.I.P. Pixelworkers.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

troubleshooting steps:
1. verify Apache is using my copy of shared library
2. recompile library with 64bit flags
3. punch myself in the face

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mike susz

@mikesusz

I'm glad we elected Mayor Goldie Wilson. He's gonna clean up this town!

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mike susz

@mikesusz

go easy on me today, job, it took me more than two hours to get here.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

if someone over 60 sends you an email with the subject FYI it's almost certain that they are angry at someone (maybe you)

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mike susz

@mikesusz

Waze: 1, Mike: 0.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

welp i peaked cleverness for the week on tuesday with “Portmanteauvember” it’s all downhill from here.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

Portmanteauvember

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mike susz

@mikesusz

my best from this morning: "how about you take your Prius, and your bumper sticker, and go 'Coexist' in the slow lane."

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mike susz

@mikesusz

The person ahead of me in traffic keeps darting their head around like they're playing Mike Tyson's Punch out

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mike susz

@mikesusz

#voted

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mike susz

@mikesusz

so far the weirdest thing about yosemite is this “click here to drag a window but it doesn’t look like you should be able to click there”

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mike susz

@mikesusz

i feel like i need to be part of something in November, hmm… grow a beard, or write a novel? i think i only have time for the former.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

if you read between the lines of directv’s commercial about AMC/renewal, it says: we have a contract until the end of 2014, that’s it.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

just watched a network and a satellite provider have an argument with commercials.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

10 Biggest Clickbait Articles of 2014 - You Won’t Believe What’s Number 1!

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mike susz

@mikesusz

living in NH is awesome until election time and then i want to unplug my phone and back over my mailbox with my pickup truck.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

one of today's projects: replicating a broken support for a mirror on an antique dresser.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

had to use my sawzall. not sure where this ranks on the Ice Cube Good Day/A-K scale.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

ikea bookend / taco seasoning #lifehack

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mike susz

@mikesusz

Henry Rollins hosting a show about history makes me think that maybe America will be okay.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

my favorite Spice Girl was Pumpkin Spice.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

why were eggs on sale at market basket this week?

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mike susz

@mikesusz

the Postal Service could get back on its feet if it would raise the postage for political propaganda to around $17.38 per piece

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mike susz

@mikesusz

there were nine different versions of the Growing Pains theme song. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Growing_Pains#Theme_song

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mike susz

@mikesusz

we have enough candy leftover to give an elephant diabetes

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mike susz

@mikesusz

this is the first year in many that we haven't had wind, rain, or 2' of snow. lowest turnout so far.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

if 200 kids don't show up in the next hour my wife will punish me for buying $50 worth of candy.

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mike susz

@mikesusz

last week for this kickstarter, really cool looking game: http://kck.st/ZbT1ay The Flame in the Flood

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mike susz

@mikesusz

i hope i get all the Razzles. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Razzles

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mike susz

@mikesusz

“dad, a thing is a noun.”
“yeah.”
“and a word is a thing.”
“yeah.”
“and a verb is a word.”
“yep.”
“so, a verb is a noun.”

O.O

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mike susz

@mikesusz

oak trees on no-dōz

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mike susz

@mikesusz

clouds coming.

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